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FAQeel o'neil

Misc. Rants and such

FAQtory this section is devoted to the people. any questions that i get from my fans/mortal enemies could potentially be posted here along with my answer. of coarse, not all questions that are submitted are guarenteed an answer online, you see cyber space is expensive...disregard the name of the hosting site 20megsfree.com. of coarse they are talking about free in the symbolic sense, freedom for the megabytes to speak their mind and have a voice in government. in laymens terms this page is a FAQ. (not really, a real FAQ is an acrinym for "frequently asked questions", these are just questions that are asked and then answered. i thought maybe i should call it the QTAAATA but then i realized that would be retarded.)
		first question Steve, I am in no way affiliated to your brother. Disregard identical email address. My question to you is; How did you achieve the high state of awesomeness that you now exhibit? When I heard that I could maybe have my question posted on your website, I crapped in my adult diaper for 4 hours straight. Sincerely, Rabbi Chesty H. McThurgood IV Bingdongoland, United Kingdom well chesty, great question. the high state of awsomeness that i now exhibit is no accident. you see, i honed this "skill" through many years of careful practice. it is indeed a rare gift and not all people can even achieve this hightened state (you need a high midi-clorean count). although the true art is hard to come by, their are in fact many imposters. gargamel-you are most definitly not awesome, you gangly petophile. all you do is run around harassing the smurfs with that damn cat azreal. i hope you hit your head on a rock. grouchy smurf kicks so much ass. other common names for awesomeness are greatness, sweetness, tubularness and righteousness. sometimes in extreme cases if someone says you have a "horse cock" this most often can be interpreted as meaning "you are an exceptionally awsome person" Ex, "Damn Germaine that was a sweet deek you put on cooper over there, you really have a horse cock man!"
		question two dear "i am not your prophet", I am having a phat party at my place. There will be many hot babes at this party. I was wondering if you would want to come to my party. Also, I am a super nerd, and so I was wondering if you could offer me some advice on how to score with the hot chicks. Thanks, man! Lance Lance, to answer your question i'd say that you already know the answer, you lose. if you are a "super nerd", you would probably do gumpy things from the beginning like try to have conversations with them and respect them. you would be way off with doing this. "hot chicks" only score with men that will treat them right. these are the guys that know what women really want, to be smacked in the face and mocked in public. if you sense sarcasm here, your wrong because im not being sarcastic. while any women would openly deny this statement in a heartbeat, the fact of the matter is its true. the only way you will be finding ass at this party is to join the guys that have figured out the trick. go out and buy yourself some shitty faded jeans and a few gold chains. Note: make sure to have plenty of pot too, chicks really like potheads. when the party starts, get immidiatly wasted on as much drugs and/or alchohol yu can find. when a girl walks up to you (she will when she smells your cheap shitty cologne)get right into your new asshole character. tell her she stinks like festering cheese shit, then tell her she's wearing clothes that totally make her look like a rhino. if she says something like "your such a jerk" as she chews on some shitty mint gum obnoxiously, and then tromps off, you got her, all you have to do now is loosten the belt and shes as good as laid. wait for her to come over again, she will. now tell her your leaving this lame party to smoke a bowl. walk into the bathroom, she will follow. congratulations. no i dont want to go to your lame ass party. i hate gerbals.
		not really a question Dear Sir. In the midst of an evening of porn browsing on the internet, I stumbled across your web page. The creative content which I experienced from your web page simply blew my fucking mind. I got so excited from seeing it all that I punched my own mother in her jaw. I better go check my pants because this web page is just too good to be true. I bow before you. Josh well josh, i dont usually condone punching mothers in the jaw unless of course they slop around all day with noodles hanging from their mouths. you seem pretty excited "josh" (if that is your real name) i think you just motivate me to type another sentince. here it is, another sentince, isnt it great?